Victorian superstitions meet historic grandeur during a lantern-lit cemetery tour at one of Ontario's most intriguing estates
By: The Lace Ledger Staff
Photography by Ruthven Park
The road to Ruthven Park is almost worth the journey alone. Winding lanes carry us through the Ontario countryside, where autumn leaves burn copper and gold against the crisp sky. A grand 19th-century mansion awaits beyond the gatehouse, surrounded by the sprawling grounds of a historic family estate.
Just before Halloween, we visited Ruthven Park National Historic Site in Cayuga, Ontario, for The Mansion in Mourning: Séances, Superstitions & Haunted Cemetery Tour. The evening promised an introduction to Victorian funeral traditions, followed by a lantern-lit excursion among the headstones of the Thompson family cemetery.
Excellent plans for an October evening, if you ask us.
A House With History
Photography courtesy of ruthvenpark.ca
Brittany Van Dalen, Ruthven Park's Chief Operating Officer, welcomes us into the mansion dressed in period mourning attire. Her engaging introduction takes us back to 1845, when David Thompson, a veteran of the War of 1812, commissioned the Greek Revival residence.
"Five generations of the Thompson family called it home until 1993, when the property passed to the last generation's aunt, Marion Hartney," Brittany explains.
Hartney's generosity helped transform the property from a private residence into a nonprofit historic site, earning national designation in 1995.
The architecture tells its own story of changing tastes, with generations of family ownership leaving their mark throughout the interior.
"What makes Ruthven Park unique is how the mansion reflects changing tastes across generations," Brittany tells us. "A standout architectural feature is the Gothic Revival ogee arch in the dining room, a subtle contrast to the mansion's overall Greek Revival design. Another highlight is the intricate chandeliers in the dining and double drawing rooms. Beautifully crafted with detailed figures, these fixtures offer a fascinating glimpse into the past, as you can still see evidence of how they were converted from gas to electricity over time."
Tonight, however, we're here to learn about a rather different aspect of domestic life.
Dressed to Mourn
Photography by The Lace Ledger
Death was a highly visible presence in Victorian society, subject to an elaborate code of social etiquette that dictated how grief was publicly expressed.
Queen Victoria helped establish the era's most recognizable mourning conventions following the death of Prince Albert in 1861. Her prolonged bereavement influenced fashionable society, where black clothing became a public expression of loss and etiquette could dictate how long certain garments were worn.
Brittany introduces us to the fashion of grief, including the importance of veils and the symbolism of mourning jewellery. Even ostrich-feather accessories could form part of the visual conventions of bereavement.
Appearances were only the beginning.
The kitchen brings us into the stranger territory of household superstitions, where everyday objects assumed unexpected significance in the presence of death.
Clocks: According to one superstition, clocks were stopped at the moment of death and left untouched until burial, lest the departed become trapped in time.
Mirrors: Reflections were covered for fear that a wandering spirit might become imprisoned within them. Portraits of living relatives could also be concealed, supposedly preventing the deceased from taking their likenesses into the afterlife prematurely.
Windows: Draping them was believed to help keep the departing spirit on its proper heavenly course.
Coffins: And when it came time to remove the coffin? Feet first, please. The alternative risked inviting the living to follow.
These customs might seem strange today, but the fears behind them are familiar. How do we make sense of death when so much about it remains beyond our control or understanding?
As Brittany explains, technological advances were transforming nineteenth-century society, even as longstanding traditions and anxieties about the unknown continued to influence its approach to grief.
The Parlour Is Calling
Photography by The Lace Ledger
The parlour introduces another dimension of Victorian mourning: the fashionable pursuit of spiritualism.
Séances offered grieving families the possibility of communicating with departed loved ones, often under the guidance of a medium. Crystal balls became associated with the practice, while spirit boards would later join the growing repertoire of supernatural communication.
Photography provides another revealing perspective on the period's relationship with mortality.
Today, we're practically drowning in photos of our loved ones (and the rest of the world!), with seemingly infinite images available at the swipe of a finger. A portrait was once an expensive occasion, particularly before photography became widely accessible.
Post-mortem photographs could therefore serve a purpose that feels startling to modern audiences. Some families commissioned an image after death to preserve the likeness of someone who had never been photographed during life. Advances in photographic technology eventually changed the circumstances that had encouraged the practice.
The desire to maintain a connection with someone after death found expression in both spiritual belief and emerging technology. Different methods, perhaps, but a familiar longing.
Say It With Flowers
A mock funeral awaits us as we move through the parlour, introducing another aspect of mourning etiquette: funeral flowers.
Their presence during the Victorian period wasn't purely decorative. Before modern refrigeration and embalming became widespread, fragrant arrangements also served a more... utilitarian purpose.
Flowers also carried messages beyond their pleasant aromas. The Victorian language of flowers assigned symbolic meanings to individual blooms, allowing carefully composed bouquets to communicate sentiments that words sometimes struggled to express.
A traditional sympathy bouquet, as presented on the tour, included four blooms:
Lily of the valley: Symbolizing a return to happiness and offering a gentle wish for peace to the grieving family.
Chrysanthemum: Expressing sorrow and remembrance.
White rose: Representing spiritual reverence.
Gladiolus: Signifying strength of character and acknowledging the resilience required to endure a loss.
A Grave Appointment
Photography by Ruthven Park
The sun is setting as we emerge from the mansion. Lanterns are distributed among the guests, and our procession begins across the grounds toward the Thompson family cemetery.
Photography by Ruthven Park
Deeper into the landscape, the Thompson family cemetery awaits, where a costumed gravedigger introduces guests to historical burial customs.
One of our favourite discoveries concerns an unusual grave marker associated with Scottish burial tradition.
We're introduced to a table-like memorial beneath which, according to the custom explained on the tour, the family matriarch is buried. The symbolism is rather touching: as each relative eventually joins the family cemetery, the matriarch is there to welcome them home.
The table also has a ceremonial purpose, providing a resting place for the coffin before burial. Personally, we prefer to imagine a phantom dinner party, with generations of relatives gathering around the table.
Photography by The Lace Ledger
A Toast to the Living
Photography by Ruthven Park
With our cemetery visit complete, we follow the picturesque trail back toward the carriage house, where refreshments await. Tea and snacks are a welcome conclusion to an evening spent contemplating Victorian mortality.
Photography by Ruthven Park, Haunted High Tea
Ruthven Park's historic surroundings and knowledgeable guides bring these customs into context, allowing us to appreciate practices that might otherwise seem strange to modern sensibilities. "We love using the landscape and history here to create meaningful experiences that shape how people learn about and enjoy this unique place," Brittany explains.
That philosophy extends well beyond the mansion's walls. Ruthven Park encompasses a Carolinian forest landscape, with walking trails leading toward the Grand River. Conservation initiatives and bird research also form part of the property's activities, offering visitors plenty of reasons to return.
And return we shall.
"Visitors can explore our trails and grounds for free during regular hours, take guided summer tours of the historic mansion, or join us for annual events like high teas, the Celtic Festival, workshops, and educational programs," confirms Brittany.
The programming continues into the colder months, with holiday events and special winter gatherings. January's Burns Night Supper celebrates Robbie Burns with a catered evening, while the return of regular mansion tours in late spring will bring a special exhibition dedicated to the residence's interior design.
Ruthven Park is well worth a visit for anyone with an affection for historic estates and the stranger corners of cultural history. We arrived hoping for an evening among the dead and left with a greater appreciation for the lives they once led.
Your invitation to the estate awaits. Explore upcoming events at Ruthven Park National Historic Site and subscribe below to receive our free monthly digital issue in your inbox, including a first look at dark feminine style and culture, the chance to vote on next month's stories and a preview of upcoming giveaways.
