Lust & Lace: Naughty Limericks from the Literary Underworld
Fun, filthy, and faintly poetic—because not all dark desires are dressed for mourning
By: The Lace Ledger Staff
Welcome to the sultry side of verse, where meter meets mischief and lace slips just off the shoulder.
These aren't your grandmother's rhymes (unless she was into rope and riddles).
Naughty limericks have long existed in the margins of literary culture—part pub joke, part protest, part pillow talk.
Here, we invite you into the underworld of cheeky elegance: gothic, glamorous and just a touch depraved.
Because poetry is versatile; it can seduce, scandalize and make you blush.
What is a Limerick?
A limerick is a five-line poem with a distinct rhythm — think, “there once was a man from Nantucket.”
In our opinion, it’s the funniest format of a poem because the two sets of rhyming couplets hold your attention with a final, biting call back to the first rhyme to close.
It’s short, sweet and packs a punch.
Lines 1, 2 and 5 rhyme with each other (usually longer)
Lines 3 and 4 rhyme with each other (shorter)
It’s the literary equivalent of a flirtatious wink—quick, clever and often wildly inappropriate.
The Lace Ledger Limericks
Here are a few freshly inked examples by the Ledger’s darker muse.
Read them aloud. Whisper them to your lover. Or keep them hidden like a cigarette in your garter.
The Library Rendezvous
A siren once haunted the shelves,
Where dusty old titles kept to themselves.
She lured a young scholar,
With whispers grown bolder,
‘Til “quiet hours” rewrote themselves.
The Collar
He fastened the loop with a sigh,
Said, “Darling, it’s time to comply.”
She smiled like a thief,
Whispered low through her teeth—
“I hope that you beg me to try.”
The Clumsy Count
Now goblets all rattle in fear,
When the Count and his antics appear.
For his bites often miss,
And land as a kiss—
Making mortals more puzzled than clear.
Ready to Try Your Own?
Prompts to get you started:
A graveyard rendezvous gone wrong.
Champagne-fueled mischief at a masquerade ball.
A strict boss and her assistant working after hours.
A witch brews a potion that works in an unexpected way.
A siren seduces her prey with exceptional success, causing an unexpected fallout.
Tag us @thelacledeger on IG and TikTok when you share your sultry stanzas, or drop in the comments.
